Monday, May 01, 2006

Life's been in the way

Yeah, yeah. I've been MIA for well over a month. April was crazy. Sick and crazy. We've had a bad run of puking, diapers from hell, colds and I had the flu and a sinus infection that kept me in bed for a week. It's been really fun. (NOT!!) But I'll try to be better.

In the meantime, a lot has happened, but for the moment I'm only going to write about the biggest news: the Loaf turned one. ONE! How did that happen? I'm still trying to figure out how the sweet, snuggly baby that I brought home yesterday is today a squirmy, chattery toddler with a raging independent streak. When exactly did she go from being a tiny newborn that I carried tucked against my chest for hours each day to the big girl who demands to be put down after only a few minutes? Time is such a funny thing. My pregnancy passed so slowly, each day clicking by with marked anticipation. A seemingly endless nine months. But once she arrived, things happened in light speed. One moment I was marveling over her in the hospital and the next she was squishing cake between her tiny fingers on her first birthday. It makes me so afraid for the next 18 years. I know they will pass in a flash and the thought of it breaks my heart a thousand times over.

I must try to remember that when it's 8 a.m. and I'm in the throes of tantrum number 17. Or when it's 2 a.m. and I'm getting up out of bed for the 14th time to replace a paci and rub a teensy back. Easier said than done, I know.

On the other hand, I so look forward to the wonderful times ahead. I know the passing of her life is going to bring me much joy: first words, first time she sings a song, first day of school, learning to ride a bike and read, sporting events, dances, recitals . . . and then way down the road getting her license, the prom. Her wedding. G.U.L.P. It's terrifying. But fabulous. And what is life without a good dose of both?

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