Me: I’m going to put on my bathing suit and sit in your pool.
Peanut: You can’t do t hat! Your butt is too big and you’ll pop it.
Driving home from the gym on Wednesday.
Loaf: Oooo, look mom, a castle!
Me: That’s not a castle, that’s a church. It’s pretty though, isn’t it? Would you like to go to church?
Peanut: (Incredulously). Mom, you know we don’t have the patience to sit through church.
Me: Look at my two daughters! You two are the nicest, sweetest, smartest and most generous girls I know. I am such a lucky mommy.
Peanut: You forgot cute.
Me: Oh. Of course, cute too.
Peanut: And beautiful.
Me: And modest.
Yesterday morning Peanut woke up at 5 a.m.
Me: So why were you up so early this morning?
Peanut: I just woke up.
Me: And you thought it’d be good to wake me up too?
Peanut: Well, someone had to do it.