Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Share my Christmas pain

So I've mentioned before that I loves me some Christmas.

That said, there are certain elements of Christmas that make me want to hang myself from the rafters with a string of blinking lights. Like? Wrapping gifts. Why is it that I can surround myself with 10 rolls of tape and 12 pens and neither can ever be found when needed?

And then there is the fact that the lower third of my lovely tree needs to be reassembled every night because my chlldren cannot resist plucking everything within their reach off of it every damn day.

And of course it's always really fun to realize four days before Christmas that I have not yet purchased a gift for my father. Ooops.

But the biggest source of my Christmas misery is—hands down—bad Christmas music. While I love 90% of all Christmas songs, there are several unbelievably annoying holiday songs that get under my skin either due to their utter stupidity or total schmaltz. In the first category I would include Dominick the Donkey, which Chingedy Ching, I would love to throttle the idiot who came up with this song. The New York stations LOOVE this too. I swear I must hear it every fucking time I'm in the car.

Then there is the one about the angel on top of the Christmas tree who screams out in pain when the tree goes up its ass. Yep. Because NOTHING says Christmas like the idea of a beautiful angel being rendered and tortured anally. It just makes me want to break out the cookies and cocoa.

But the worst offender in the second category is Christmas Shoes. I will never be able to express my disdain for this song as well as
Lumpyhead did on her blog, so I'm just going to send you there. But let me say that next year's letter to Santa will include a request to NEVER, EVER have to listen to this cloying piece of crapola again. Unfortunately, I think I have a better shot at achieving World Peace.



Anonymous Nanax2 said...

Actually, Christmas Shoes came from a smaltzy Christmas movie on TV a couple (+/-) of years ago. If you liike I hate the song, you'd abhor the movie.

8:40 PM  

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