Imagine all the people . . . wearing pink crowns.
This morning, my kids were having the most ridiculous fight over nothing.
I was in the kitchen cleaning up breakfast when Loaf ran into the kitchen at top speed followed by a screeching Peanut.
“AAAAAAHHHHHHH! Mommmmy! She took my pink crown!”
I looked over at Loaf, who appeared to be clutching an invisible ball. She smiled wryly then moved her hands over to one side.
“MINE!” she retorted, the smile never leaving her lips.
“NOOOOO!” responded Peanut.
Completely baffled, I looked over at Loaf, just to be sure I didn’t miss anything, but her hands were still empty.
Just then, Peanut lunged forward and “snatched” a ball of air from Loaf’s hands.
“That’s my pink crown,” she yelled. “Mine!”
Loaf responded in turn by snatching the ball of air back. “My crown!” she said triumphantly.
“Holy moly, what is going on here?” I asked impatiently.
“She keeps taking my imaginary crown,” Peanut said with her best “can-you-believe-that?” inflection. Which, quite frankly, I could not.
“OH. MY. GOD. Are you two for real? Are you really telling me you are fighting over an IMAGINARY crown?”
“YES!” responded Peanut in an entirely different “mommy-I-cannot-believe-how-dense-you-are-sometimes” tone.
“That is the MOST ludicrous thing I have ever heard. Seriously. Why don’t you just imagine another one? If you are imagining crowns, you can imagine as many as you like We can all have them. Look,” I said, pausing for dramatic effect and raising my hands to my head, “now I’m wearing one too.”
“AAAAAHHHH! NOOOOOO!” she hollered back jumping up and trying to retrieve it from my head.
Seeing that tactic going nowhere, I turned to Loaf. "Why don’t you just imagine your own crown? Maybe you’d like a blue one?”
Loaf considered this for a moment then happily agreed. “OK!” she said, cheerfully skipping out of the room.
And just like that, the crisis was over. I daresay that future fights over real clothing and actual car keys will be far more difficult to negotiate.