The wheels on the carpool go round and round
This week, it was my turn to drive so I piled all three five-year-olds, along with Loaf, into my minivan (<--- Yes, that's right Mrs. New Hampshire. M.I.N.I.V.A.N. I'll hum the Jeopardy theme song for a moment while you pick your jaw up off the ground. Do do do do do do do. Do do do do do DO do do do do. Better? Ready to move along, now? Awesome.) and off we went.
Now, I don't know if any of you have ever spent an extended period of time
1. Jokes. Many many jokes. None of which make any sense. Oh, and they also all have the same punchline. And yet, they laugh HYSTERICALLY at every single one. A sampling:
Why did the banana cross the road? To jump into your eyeball! ::cue enthusiastic laughter::
Why did the goat cross the road? To jump into your eyeball! ::cue enthusiastic laughter::
2. Lots of Very Serious Discussion pertaining to what to wear for Halloween this year complete with detailed explanations of what they, and every member of their family, wore for Halloween last year.
3. More Serious Discussion about what to bring for Show 'n Tell this week.
4. In-depth conversations about the programming sponsored by fine stations such as Nickelodeon and Disney Kids. None of which my kids have any clue about because we became a TV-free home earlier this year (and that's going very well, thanks for asking).
So girl A will say something like, "Isn't that funny when SpongeBob (insert whatever funny thing he does here)?" and girl B will giggle and say, "Oh yes, he is so funny," and Loaf, who has absolutely no freakin' clue what they are talking about will pipe up out of the blue with, "I like macaroni and cheese too," which will be met with utter, complete silence. Oy. Poor Loaf.
5. Detailed analysis of the magic tricks performed by the clown at girl B's birthday party last week. In the end they will all agree that the book she brought with the ever-changing pictures inside really was magic, but that her pet raccoon (named Spaghettihead) was actually a puppet stuffed onto her hand. I see a future in political commentary for all three.
Oh and whatever you do, do NOT try to engage conversation with any of them, including your own child. Doing so will be met with blank stares and total silence. Your own offspring - your very flesh and blood who you gestated and birthed and spend hours upon hours cleaning up after and doting on and snuggling on your lap and reading the same inane stories over and over to - will also likely declare, "Mom, we aren't talking to you." Complete with eyeroll.
But I'm not bitter or anything. Nope, not me. (<--- That is a lie.)
At least I still have Loaf to talk to. For the moment.