Monday, November 20, 2006

No more Ms. Nice Guy!

So I'm working my butt off to get my house ready for Thursday, when 23 people will show up expecting succulent turkey, an array of fabulous side dishes, freshly baked breads and delectable pies. To make for a nice atmosphere, I am painting trim, hanging pictures, scrubbing floors and carving gourds so that I can stuff them with fresh flowers and turn them into lovely centerpieces. And, of course, I'm obsessing about the food, all so that I can attempt to create as close to a Rockwellian Thanksgiving as possible for my guests.

Which is why the little trail of mouse poo I spied on floor near the fridge today is seriously bumming me out.

You know, I love animals. I try to be very Zen in my approach to other life forms. Instead of squashing insects, I operate my own six-legged catch-and-release program. But mouse poop? On my floor? On my perfect little family Thanksgiving? Is un-FUCKING-acceptable.

I have tried to be fair to the MICE living in my home this fall. The humane trap has been clicking away day and night and each mouse that is caught is driven down the road to the golf course and released without harm. But those days are quickly coming to an end. Because I? Have HAD it!! I'm *thisclose* to picking up a gallon of poison on my way home today and killing them all. How dare they invade my house and leave their dirty, disease ridden feces on my kitchen floor.

This is a very big change for me. I am not a killer, so maybe this is some type of temporary insanity? But in any event, I laughed and laughed when I stumbled upon this earlier today. We are of one mind Bitter Betty. One mind.

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