Friday, January 26, 2007

Play that gay, funky music

Every now and then, I come across something that makes me either laugh out loud because it’s so ridiculous or roll my eyes because, well, it’s so ridiculous.

This made me do both.

Who knew that gay bands were such a threat to our young people? Who knew that listening to the likes of Cole Porter, Metallica and Eminem (and did you ever think you’d see all three of them on a list together?) could turn our children into homosexuals (all this time I was just thinking people were either born gay or born straight. How stupid am I?)

Who knew that Frank Sinatra (Sinatra?!?) had a gay agenda to promote?

My God! I’ve been so naïve about this for the last 37 years! I spent my teen years listening to Madonna, Erasure and (“really gay” – thanks for clarifying) Elton John. Through college I listened to The Doors, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and the Indigo Girls. I’ve done the YMCA by the Village People at countless weddings and parties and have been to three Rolling Stones concerts. I am soooo lucky not to be gay right now! With so much gayness being thrown at me, how did I ever escape?

And you can bet that I won’t be playing John Mayer around my kids anymore. Sorry John, but I simply can’t have you go turning my daughters gay. What was I thinking??

Instead, I vow to fill up my iPod, with all 15 bands on the Safe List and only then will I be able to sleep easy each night knowing I have taken the necessary steps toward protecting my children from the powerful influence of homosexual music.

Whew. This parenting stuff is hard.

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7 Comments:

Blogger Diane said...

Clearly, they do not get the full meaning of "Girls Just Want to Have Fun". ;)

12:57 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

That's funny. Who knew Frank Sinatra could turn you gay? Do you think they know that "She-Bop" is about masturbation?

4:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tom loves Sinatra.
'Nuff said!
Except that I miss you all - much.

9:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

BTW, that was me... your fave MD redneck.
Making my first comment even though I read you all the time. How about that?!?!
But, I cut myself off in my first post which is why I came back. Now I don't remember what I wanted to say. But I do think I am addicted to posting. Already. :-)

10:00 PM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

Mrs. C. - I guess masturbation is OK so long as you don't fantasize about someone of the same sex while doing it?!?!

My long lost MD friend - Well, if T likes Sinatra, that certainly explaiins a lot. ;-)

1:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've heard that living in Jersey makes you 75% more likely to raise gay children than in Iowa.

8:11 PM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

Anonymous - well there you go! Finally that explains why Sinatra is on the list. But then why no Bon Jovi or Springsteen? Hmmmm . . .

7:02 AM  

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