Sunday, June 24, 2007

I vow to love you, honor you and shave your head

For two summers, Mark has been talking about getting a an extremely short haircut (less than a quarter inch). There has been much hemming and hawing and hand-wringing about said cut and with a big family wedding looming t-minus 6 weeks from now, I finally convinced him that if he was going to do it, now is the time. This way, if it looks bad, he’ll be able to grow it out by the time ten million pictures are snapped for all posterity. (Which pretty much summed up how I thought things were going to turn out.)

Being one of tight wallet, Mark decided I should be the one to give him this cut. Which? Eeek. I am a woman of many skills, but prior to last week, operating a head shaver was not one of them.

Fearing I would either (worst case) give him the world’s first uneven buzz cut or (next worst case) remove several layers of skin from his scalp, I made him first promise to disavow me of any personal liability or damages. (I am reading my friend Martha's book, so I’m feeling all sorts of lawyerly lately).

It went something like this:

”I, Mark Gav, being of sound mind and body, acknowledge that I have requested Kimberly Gav to shave my head by and of my own free will, despite the fact that Mrs. Gav has no prior experience with head shaving and makes no claims to having even minimal skills in hair cutting or shaving. I also promise to release Mrs. Gav from any personal injury, humiliation, damages or taunting resulting from her administration of said buzz cut. Further, I shall not personally hold grudges, pout, stomp about the house, glare or make any snarky comments toward Mrs. Gav should any of the aforementioned situations come to bear as a result of her completely fucking this up.”

Now, I realize that this is not a binding legal document. Anyone spending more than 10 minutes with Mark would realize he is not of sound mind and would toss it right out. (ZING! Score one for the wife).

Before I describe how it went, let me first say that I love my husband’s hair. God and good genes hath bestowed upon him a beautiful head of thick, shiny hair that (knock on wood) shows no signs of thinning or balding. He is blessed with incredible genes in this area. His maternal grandfather, who is approaching 103, still has hair sprouting from every single follicle on his head. Amazing man he is, in more ways than just his hair. But I digress . . .

The Before


So, time to clip. I don’t remember all the specifics, but we went over it four different times, each time going shorter and shorter until the final length was 1/16th of an inch. Which incase you are wondering? Is really freakin’ short.

But I have to say, I think it actually turned out O.K. Four days have passed, and I’m still not 100% used to it, but I like it. I do have to say that many men our age who are fighting to keep their hair right now would probably think someone with a great head of hair must be crazy to do this, but any day now it's going to be 90-degrees and humid and he's going to be a lot cooler with this type of cut.

The After


As for our upcoming wedding, it will be just fine with me if the next 20 generations look back on the resulting family photos with him looking like this. How the bride will feel? Is still TBD. Stay tuned . . .

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Blogger ryssee said...

I like the haircut and I like the contract. Mark DOES look a little tipsy in the pics. Was it a Saturday? tee hee. Hope he still likes the haircut :-)

8:54 PM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

Nope - a Wednesday! No alcohol was involved in this decision, though I can see why you might assume that. :-)

9:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like the cut, but I have to say he looks (ahem) older! But he could look a few years older and still not look his age =)

As the only woman living in my frat house, I have to say I am now quite familiar with the shears. I have to admit the decision was a frugal one here too! But every six weeks (or so) my back deck is like a sheep shearing convention. I should keep track of what we have saved through the years. My only fear is that someday they try to get me back...

Hope you are well!

9:29 PM  
Blogger Maureen said...

Wow! Mark was VERY trusting (and brave), LOL! He looks so different! In all the years I have known him, he's always had the same "look"! How does he like it? I still think he looks young! :)

Frank buzzes his own head! He does a pretty good job too. I won't let him near B though, last time he royally screwed it up & I was not pleased!

4:01 PM  

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