I vow to love you, honor you and shave your head
Being one of tight wallet, Mark decided I should be the one to give him this cut. Which? Eeek. I am a woman of many skills, but prior to last week, operating a head shaver was not one of them.
Fearing I would either (worst case) give him the world’s first uneven buzz cut or (next worst case) remove several layers of skin from his scalp, I made him first promise to disavow me of any personal liability or damages. (I am reading my friend Martha's book, so I’m feeling all sorts of lawyerly lately).
It went something like this:
”I, Mark Gav, being of sound mind and body, acknowledge that I have requested Kimberly Gav to shave my head by and of my own free will, despite the fact that Mrs. Gav has no prior experience with head shaving and makes no claims to having even minimal skills in hair cutting or shaving. I also promise to release Mrs. Gav from any personal injury, humiliation, damages or taunting resulting from her administration of said buzz cut. Further, I shall not personally hold grudges, pout, stomp about the house, glare or make any snarky comments toward Mrs. Gav should any of the aforementioned situations come to bear as a result of her completely fucking this up.”
Now, I realize that this is not a binding legal document. Anyone spending more than 10 minutes with Mark would realize he is not of sound mind and would toss it right out. (ZING! Score one for the wife).
Before I describe how it went, let me first say that I love my husband’s hair. God and good genes hath bestowed upon him a beautiful head of thick, shiny hair that (knock on wood) shows no signs of thinning or balding. He is blessed with incredible genes in this area. His maternal grandfather, who is approaching 103, still has hair sprouting from every single follicle on his head. Amazing man he is, in more ways than just his hair. But I digress . . .
So, time to clip. I don’t remember all the specifics, but we went over it four different times, each time going shorter and shorter until the final length was 1/16th of an inch. Which incase you are wondering? Is really freakin’ short.
But I have to say, I think it actually turned out O.K. Four days have passed, and I’m still not 100% used to it, but I like it. I do have to say that many men our age who are fighting to keep their hair right now would probably think someone with a great head of hair must be crazy to do this, but any day now it's going to be 90-degrees and humid and he's going to be a lot cooler with this type of cut.
As for our upcoming wedding, it will be just fine with me if the next 20 generations look back on the resulting family photos with him looking like this. How the bride will feel? Is still TBD. Stay tuned . . .